- When he first grabs the sword, it knocks him back with a blast strong enough to rip out some of his teeth.
He has to keep training to be able to even hold it, and given that he's not an esper he's told by some he never will.
- Perhaps one of Mosphet's explanations for why he let Jagex and the rest of the family live is that the war has already robbed the wolves of enough higher bloodlines.
- During the cave set up for the flashback Sabriel casually references that she wishes "that fire wolf was here."
- Although probably not, I may want to experiment with changing this into first person, a very long intro or series of intros.
- In Jagex's flashback as a cub one of his caretakers / parent's allies tell him that we (the other cities) are "all in Weston's shadow."
- Jagex describes Serinth's mansion as a strange mix of luxury and decay.
- Sabriel: And to think, you could have been married.
- When Jagex bursts into Serinth's library and Pyren tries to stop him but then Serinth says it's okay, as Jagex is chewing her out Serinth replies "Didn't you tell me I was completely devoid of honor?" Jagex is confused and says no, he never said that.
She replies something like "Well, it's something you would say..." she's confusing timelines again.
- When Jagex tells Serinth she's been in the library for weeks, is this all she does?
She replies that's a common misconception, she spends most of her time outside the library.
Later in this conversation they argue about him having a weakness in his flank, then he continues chewing her out, saying everyone's praised her so long she's become delusional enough to believe she really is a goddess, but he's seen he battle records (from his side, not Weston's publicly available fake records), he knows how many battles she lost, how close she was to losing the war, he continues ranting until he looks down and realizes she wrote down everything he said and everything he was going to say, then she reiterates her request for him to continue training.
- At the beginning of this scene when he barges in over Pyren's objections, he can't help but stare at the pile of books next to her and the many empty ink bottles and quills laying about.
When he asks her what she's writing she simply replies her 'memoirs' and it is through Jagex's flashback we see his interactions with other characters (like Sulin in the theater or Shuik when they have that conversation about The Jungle Book) but we also see how Serinth seems to drastically shift the longer she spends in the library.
- When Jagex stares at his father's armor there is a vase below with his ashes, but Jagex suspects they don't even know whose ashes they are.
- There should be a re-occurring plot point that Jagex keeps introducing himself as "Jagex of Tairon" but somebody notes his father (the general who actually worked for the government) is dead, he no longer has any official relationship to the city-state, so he shouldn't be using it as his house name.
Jagex's sister, Jaiwa, at least has a place in Tairon's government as her job, but Jagex has no excuse except for nostalgia.
- At some point when Caretaker offers Jagex food and he says it's 'carrion' and refuses to eat it Caretaker says that animal died for him and it's a sin not to eat it, besides he's growing.
Jagex replies that he's been growing for twenty years, he's still mourning the death of his father.
(Here Caretaker sees his many drawings of the battle scattered about.)
- We can change the scene where Jagex asks who is most responsible for his fathers death to a conversation with Jaiwa, she says that the commander who led the army was a wolf named Serinth, his own betrothed, whereas when he asks about the flaming wolf she explains it is Serinth's brother, Heyoke, an esper who controls fire.
(Although we have to consider what Jagex already knows about the war, he's probably been paying attention.)
- Sabriel probably burns herself when she tries to lap her soup because she was so distracted by Jagex's story.
- In the cave as Jagex is narrating his flashback we show Sabriel tell Jagex they aren't even really brother and sister, there is no intimacy between them, allowing us to segue into her breaking Jagex's paw for him.
- Consider if Jagex's caretaker loses her citizenship and is forced to participate in a hunt, although they both know she's too old and will die.
She says yes, she will die, 'to feed a young wolf like yourself'.
- At one point near the latter half of the flashback we see Serinth wonder aloud "I wonder where they faggot's gone off to..." before transitioning to the scene with Jagex trying to get into the library before Pyren stops him, he's trying to get at 'Heyoke the Wolf' in its glass case, when Pyren says he isn't supposed to be there Jagex replies neither is Pyren.
- At the end of the incredibly petty letter when Serinth is basically goading Jagex into trying to kill her, after addressing all his titles and her titles she opens with "You are a little bitch." and ends it with "Do you think you can stop eating penis long enough to do that?" with a crudely scribbled caricature of Jagex eating cocks at the bottom.
When Kae'Kil finishes his speech and hands Jagex the invitation, Jagex says "She put my name down as 'Jagex the Faggot'!".
Kae'Kil says she talks about him often, Jagex asks by name, he says not quite, she mostly says things like "I wonder what that faggot's doing." or "I bet that faggot would like this." etc.
- What Jagex asks about the tournament Serinth says people have wanted to murder her since she was a child, she might as well make them pay the price of admission.
- In the line waiting for the tournament the people Jagex talks to mention how people like to give themselves titles like this fox they point out who calls himself "the dragon", maybe he's ashamed of being a fox, they jest.
Another people says he would be ashamed of being a fox as well, and references some fox he caught jerking off (with his own blood) after Serinth beat the shit out of him, perhaps this current fox plans to "fuck her to death" (although as we see this guy is actually a very competent assassin, this is the guy who ends up being right in front of Jagex in line.)
- The transition right before Jagex enters the stadium is the guys asking someone else why he's there, and this guy gives the exact same reasons as Jagex, making Jagex internally awkward before his name is called.
- When Jagex goes up to the counter after being called, correcting that his name is not "Jagex the faggot" we have the scene where the guy at the counter starts spewing legalease which is basically a waiver regarding the House of Weston, among the other things he mentions is that Jagex swears to handle disputes through arbitration chosen on behalf of the House of Weston, that he's not physically or mentally handicapped and that he is not a veteran or currently a member of the armed forces of the republic or its allies.
- After Jagex pays the entry fee the guy at the counter grumbles, annoyed with the wolf in armor who asked too many questions, before calling the next name in line "[x] the Human?" making a joke regarding people naming themselves after mystical creatures.
- During one of their initial strained conversations (in the middle of a fight) Jagex tells Serinth her government lacks political legitimacy.